This is what he is supposed to eat, dog food.
These are some of the things he likes to eat:
This is our couch. Our lovely, awesome, in perfect condition couch.
Okay, well it really isn't THAT great. It's about 8 years old and sags in the middle and we have talked about getting a new one for awhile. I was going to have a huge garage sale, where people came from miles away, to purchase the things I no longer wanted. And my big ticket item that was going to lure all those bargain hunters off the streets....the couch.
One day, Barney got tired of eating dog food, ducks, ropes and tennis balls. One day, I came home to a couch with holes in the pillows.
It's okay! It's okay! Don't freak out, I can fix this. The garage sale is still going to happen. All those people are still going to be magically beamed up to the house by the sight of the couch! I pulled out the trusty sewing machine, and patched the pillows back together.
A few weeks went by and I was busy gathering up things from around the house to add to the garage sale pile. A few little knick-knacks to spread around the couch so it that it technically is a "sale" and not just me sitting in the driveway selling a couch.
I walked into the living room, and there was the couch, under a cloud of batting and stuffing and..."OH MY GOD! MY GARAGE SALE!"
In strolls Barney with this look on his face like, "Oh man, I just ate the best bug I found under the....whoa. What happened in HERE!?" Even though he had fabric all over his face, he was trying to convince me that this disaster had nothing to do with him.
There was a hole in the arm that was big enough to hide a small child. The seat cushion had a hole in it the size of a Thanksgiving turkey platter...and fabric was MISSING. I couldn't sew that back together if I was Martha Washington herself. The couch was unsellable. I would be lucky to get $10 from a desperate bachelor who just needs a place to sit and play XBox.
And that is how Barney the puppy ruined my garage sale.